I’m really excited to share this story with everyone. Although it’s been a while, I don’t think you ever forget the birth of your first child. Unless you’re my mom, haha!
Okay, so I wish I could start off by saying I had a burst of energy right before I went into labor (or like in the movies when your water breaks out of no where all over the floor in front of you). I wish, haha! Unfortunately, nothing like that happened for me. I was 39 weeks and 5 days and miserable when we went to our doctor to get checked and, of course, he just couldn’t feel a thing like every other time he checked. It made me want to cry every time. He told me to hang in there or gave me other options since he would be leaving in a week and I didn’t want anyone else but him to deliver our baby. We decided at 40 weeks and 3 days to get induced, since I was not showing any progress and my cervix was still pretty high but soft.
With that said, my mother came in that same week to stay with us. She tried to scare me a bit about getting induced and suggested “having her come naturally” instead. This was all after I just had made my mind up about being induced. I thought should I wait another week? Will my doctor be back in time? Oh man did I start to freak out! So, I literally tried everything in the book: walking, having sex, bouncing on a dang ball for hours & membrane sweep. Oh ya, and did I also mention I tried castor oil. Ugh, gave me cramps but not the ones I wanted and let’s just say I was completely cleaned out before I delivered.
Everything you read on google, I tried times two and this little girl did not want to budge!
The day of induction was July 15th. I woke up that morning feeling nervous and even more so after I received a call from the hospital. They told me not to come in because they were full and that I would have to wait until a bed opened up. I immediately broke out into tears to Dean (my love, her dad) about this “being a sign” and that we should just wait. I called my doctors office freaking out and wanted to see if I’d made any progress or was dilated at all. Luckily they were able to squeeze us in so we headed over to their office. I had dropped but my cervix was still high I was 1 1/2 cm dilated. It made me happy seeing that I was actually making progress. I asked him more questions about being induced and he assured me it was common and only do what I felt comfortable doing. So, we waited to get a call back. They called at 6:30pm with check in time being 7:30pm. When we checked in they saw that I was starting to contract a lot more on my own. They inserted this tampon type thing to soften the cervix and would need to wait for 12 hours before putting me on pitocin. The next morning, at around 8am, I was able to eat my last meal and then they started the pitocin.
After starting they increased the dose every hour. The first hour seemed okay, cramping and lots of pressure. I was bouncing on my ball most of the time and doing stretches. Around 1pm is when it started to become intense. That is when the nurse came in to check me since I was on my side in pain and they couldn’t get a good read on her heart beat. The nurse reached up and told me that her head dropped completely, BUT my cervix was behind her head. I guess that is also why I was not showing progress right away. She then told me to hold onto something tight since I was a going to be in a lot of pain.I remember thinking to myself “Im sure its not as bad as these contractions” oh boy was I WRONG!! She then had to reach her hand and finger back to find my cervix and pull it forward into place. OUCH!
I had a posterior cervix so she went in to align it with her head. OH MY GOSH that was probably the WORST pain I had felt in the hospital. Once the nurse pulled her hand out to finish, I felt this gush of water all over my legs and around my butt. I actually thought, “great, I just peed on myself” but the nurse actually ended up breaking my water and with that came the mucous plug. I was so relieved, not just because I didn’t piss myself but that this was the start I needed to see my Princess soon. So I hoped…
Time was passing by so slow, so slow and the contractions where becoming so intense. They would come into give me a dose of drugs to relive the pain but they wore off so quick. All I remember thinking was, “can you just leave me with a bag of damn drugs so I can give it to myself”. I must have really annoyed the crap out of my nurse and boyfriend because I pressed that button every time it wore off. I remember at this time all I demanded was ice chips and water, and when my cup wasn’t filled I would freak out to him. “Im dying here and all I want are drugs and my damn ice chips. Why is this so hard!” lol I know that because he actually recorded my tantrums. haha
It is now 7pm and I am in full contractions with high pitocen still going, at this point I remember just crawling up the side of the bed in pain. I kept asking for the pain drugs now every 30 minutes because at this point they drugs only lasted 15-20 min. 8pm came around and they came to check on me and I was still only 3 1/2 cm. Ugh, they increased to MAX pitocin and I just couldn’t take the pain. My doctor showed up to check on me and I cried to him if there was anything more he could give me to help with the pain. They usually do not give epidurals with only 3cm dilated, but he saw how much pain I was in and ordered it right away. I than cried tears of joy and wanted to give him a big kiss but, I was in fetal possession and another contraction just hit.
The anesthesiologist came in 30 min later to administer the epidural, but as he was about to, he had to put in his two cents and say “usually, when I come in this early to do the epidural it ends up in C-section just a fair warning.” I was already back towards him as he is doing epidural but I saw my mom, nurse, and Dean’s face just drop in shock. My biggest fear was to end up in C-section (only if it was a must) and everyone knew. I went in without a birth plan. We just wanted a healthy baby but my family knew I wanted vaginal birth. Soooo after he left the room, I burst into uncontrollable tears and it took a while to calm down. I was pain free but my mind was not at ease. I just kept thinking maybe he’s right. He is a doctor, he sees this everyday, right? My nurse calmed me down after saying that he is always very negative and I shouldn’t listen to him. I needed to focus on not stressing my body out, calm down, relax, and maybe get some rest if I could. Easy for her to say when all I could think about was punching that doctor in the face and proving him wrong! lol
Now it is about 1:30am July 17th, about two hours after the epidural. I start to feel a lot of pressure on my lower back and butt area. Not pain, the epidural was a life saver but a feeling as if I needed to “poop” as everyone warned me. I thought to myself, no it’s only been a couple hours and I was only 3 1/2cm. I waited another 30 minutes until I couldn’t bare it and I woke up my mom and Dean. The nurse came in right away and said she wanted to wait another hour before checking me. I was starting to come down with a small fever due to the catheter and tubes they put on the baby to check her vitals. More probing could’ve caused the fever to rise but I told her it was intense pressure so she checked and was completely shocked. She told me “you are full faced and she is ready to come”. I just thought to myself “oh shit, this is really happening now” lol.
Right away she goes to call my doctor and tells him to head over and that she will start to have me push. The nurse starts my pushing and stretching in circular motion for a good 30 minutes. I’m really pushing now and she is starting to look for my doctor who is not there yet. (WTF) She calls again and he is barley on his way because he said he “heard her wrong”(WTF) lol. I’m looking at my mom and Dean like I’m going to kill someone. She instructed me to stop pushing and to rest my legs, I looked at her like a crazy lady and said “she is coming if he is here or not. I can’t stop now!” So, she told me to continue and my doctor walked in with minutes to spare. OH MY GOSH was I relived!
When he walked in, I felt the energy in the room just lift. Like if there were minutes left in a game and the coach just called you out from the bench to put you in for the last play. He automatically started encouraging me and made sit up and lift my own knees to start pushing full force. Then as the next contraction hit, I pushed as hard as I could. I’m still able to feel the pressure of the push just not in any pain at this point. As that happens, he than instructs me to “reach down and touch her head mama”. I did it. I wasn’t in my right mind to even think about it, lol. I just wanted her out. So I listened to whatever he told me to do at that point.
After 20 min of pushing he made me reach down and pull my perfect little princess into my arms.( Kourtney Kardashian style, not as dramatic) Daddy cut her cord and she just stared at me with the biggest beautiful eyes I had only dreamed of. As that amazing moment was happening, my epidural wore off and I felt the birth of my placenta. Yes, you deliver that also. Oh and not to mention the stitching being done. OUCH! I didn’t rip but I gave him the go ahead to do the episiotomy if needed. It was a 2nd degree so wasn’t too bad. (she had a big head, I get it) UGH, but back to that amazing moment *crying now as I finish this*
Words can not express the feeling or emotion that runs through your body and mind as you see what you both created. July 17th a 3:26am was the moment that changed Dean’s and my life forever. When I picked her up and held her in my arms for the first time I was speechless. This overwhelming feeling we both had was like none that we have ever experienced in our life. It was this powerful unconditional love of this tiny little girl that we both created. This little girl that opened her eyes and looked at us for the first time. Like she knew, I was her mommy and he was her daddy. I never knew what true unconditional love felt like until this day. I am so honored that my Princess chose us to be her parents. I am blessed to be her mommy. *tears & more tears*
Also, I never knew how much I loved her Daddy till I saw the look in his eyes as he held her for the first time. I will never forget the moment or feeling when he looked up at me while holding her and said “We are a family now”. I just stared at them speechless and in awwww might have also been the drugs still in my system but, I had butterflies in my stomach like it was our first date all over again.
Thank you for reading! I am actually obsessed with birth stories and will start to feature new mommies every month. “Mommy of the month” who I will send a basket full of prizes to with new mommy gadgets. So, If you happen to know a new mom and think that she should be the one to be featured. Tag her #PBDBirthstory #Princessbabydiary or just leave a comment below.