I know, I am not the only one that goes back into time and scrolls through her phone to those special moments that where captured. Ours of course by the amazing Lori Dorman who also did our first shoot and Anaiya’s 6 month shoot. I love everything about the way she made me feel and how gorgeous she makes you look. Even though I felt like a beast at the time lol. jk…kinda. I remember this day like it was yesterday.
It was a very emotional day for me, since it was literally the exact same place we came while Pregnant with Anaiya. I remember that feeling very well, I was scared, nervous, excited and SO happy. This time around I had all those feelings and one additional one that was haunting my thoughts and soul. The “How could I possible love this little girl inside me as much as I love her sister” at the time it was a very overwhelming feeling that would cross my mind the more it came closer and closer to meeting her.
My everything these two…they were and I lived and breathed them for 19 months straight. They were all I knew, everything I could ever want and some. So now being 8 months pregnant with hormones going crazy, trying to figure out how I am to now balance two little ones and take care of Daddy. I was already struggling to keep up with one, so two?! I felt a little overwhelming to say the least. I feel like as mommies we don’t share these feelings because of the shame others must think of us for feeling this way. I played it out over and over in my had until one day I just broke down in tears to Daddy. “What if I don’t love her the same, what a horrible mother I am to think this. Right?!”. NO, actually once I started to talk about it and share it with other mothers. They too agreed in feeling these same feelings as I. I guess what I am trying to say is it is NORMAL to have these feelings mamas.
Yes, your first is your everything. The one who taught you what it was to become a mother. The feeling of a love so deep that know one can truly define but a mother herself. She is part of me, as I am part of her and that will never change. The only thing that will change is the amount of love a mother can give to her children, and that our new little Princess came into this world. Was the day that I understood, that a mothers heart will never be restricted, never stop growing. Our love is endless for our children.
One of my favorites from the shoot was all of our hands on my belly, she kicked so hard at this very moment. Like she knew how much she was already loved!
How did you mamas cope with the new addition after the first?!
Photographer: Lori Dorman